This post continues the series of brief play reports I have been posting on Discord. This does not cover every single session (sometimes, recon and setup is what happens), but it covers our ongoing games. The current post covers games until the end of June – I didn’t post due to my July sale and setting up my business taking up my full attention, so reports have been piling up, and this post is long enough as it is.
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| The Battle of Villa Cardone |
28/05/2025
THISIUM
News from the doomed city of Thisium! A party of 5 characters and 7 henchmen rode out of Thisium towards the Cyclopean Hills. Leading them was Adonis Gratianus carrying a newly made battle-flag, to fulfil his promise to the noblewoman Ottilia Cardone, who was forced to banditry once returning to her homeland, and finding Villa Cardone occupied by the men of Bazascus the Brigand. They met Ottilia at the bandits’ campsite, and decided on a plan to scout the fortified villa in the evening, and raid it afterwards. They travelled through the foreboding Cyclopean Hills; and at one point, found an ominous-looking, ancient statue watching them that wasn’t there the last time they travelled here, despite its weathered appearance. At sunset, they approached the villa, and the company’s three thieves made recon around the building. The entrances were well-guarded, while the main force was in the interior courtyard, some were out at the stables, and the villa’s masters were having dinner in the master’s quarters. An impromptu three-prong attack plan was made and executed. A force of adventurers drew closer to the front gate guards, the bandits approached from the back with Adonis and Ottilia in the lead, and the thieves waited on the sides for their opportunity.
Flaming oil on the stables set the thatched roof on fire, raising a commotion among the brigands, but drawing them out into a lit backyard to be met with arrow fire. The darkness made for difficult archery on both sides, so casualties were initially low, but started to mount as opposed groups traded shots, and especially when the forces rushed each other along the line of contact. Ethel the heavy footman, a cowardly and weak retainer, died from arrow fire; and his master, Maglor the Elf was badly wounded. While the brigands streamed outside, the thieves could drop into the central courtyard, and assassinate Lundolf, the brigands’ Magic-User. Adonis called on Bazascus the Brigand to come out, and he did, clad in his plate mail that made him nigh invincible. He shrugged off magic and blade, fighting with ferocity. The frontal assault group decimated the brigands, but came under fire from Tiny, a halfling thief sniping at them from the darkness. At last, Bazascus was surrounded, and steadfastly refusing quarter after his remaining men already surrendered, eventually slain by Adonis. Tiny was pursued by Dorvo with his sword of fire, but melted away into the night. Theirs was Villa Cardone, and the brigands’ treasure, including Lundolf’s potions and spellbooks, and a mysterious treasure map. Ottilia Cardone was once again the owner of her family nest, although of her bandits, a mere third survived. As for Adonis, he was quite happy to have helped a noble lady, and found that good deeds are often rewarded. At this time, the city had 32 days left...
Temple of the Unknown God
04/06/2025
THISIUM
News from the doomed city of Thisium! After their victory over the brigands, three adventurers and their henchmen rode to explore the mysterious Temple of the Unknown God in the middle of the Cyclopean Hills. After shaking off a group of orcs who proclaimed the Coastlands to be the new domain of their god, Porculus, they rode through a desolate and silent landscape, finding the massive, ancient structure in the centre of a valley, as old as time, and built from massive cyclopean blocks in an unrecognisable style. The entrance was guarded by weird, spindly statues holding tridents, with conch-shell shaped heads. All of this was unfathomably old. Through an open gate meant for giants, they could see the gloomy antechamber with a massive, empty basalt throne, flanked by two human-sized stone braziers. Walking forward, pit traps opened underfoot; Dorvo fell into a pit, landing on top of a deep layer of accumulated bones, fossils, and ancient debris. Saved with a rope, they proceeded with more caution. Poucas Trancas and Eriberto Barrella reconnoitred the entrance area. Growling sounds came from an eastern room, so they went west, finding a dark hall with heavy dark drapes, two enormous brass statues resembling those at the entrance, and a stone spiral in the floor. Returning back, a corridor behind the throne room was decorated by hieroglyphs, being deciphered by a group of four adventurers. Poucas warned them of the monsters to the east. The adventurers thanked them, and getting closer, one remarked, „Perhaps the monsters are just us...” as the four attacked as doppelgangers! The monsters were slain and sacks of coins hauled back to the horses. The NW chamber held broken statuary and a gargoyle which demanded gold for passage, but attacked from surprise even after it was paid. The beast was invulnerable to non-magical weapons, but not sleep (a SVoZ peculiarity!), so it was wrapped up in a net and tossed in an entrance pit, which was then wedged shut.
Investigating the room, the gargoyle’s treasure was collected, while an odd recess hid a secret door, but one that was also trapped: the door would slide up, but the threshold would bring it down on the careless explorer. Opening it carefully, a room with metal floor was found, with the frozen body of a dead warrior carrying a sack, a splendid magic spear, and wearing a gem-studded helmet. They dragged the corpse into their room with a grappling hook, triggering the threshold trap, and crushing the gemstone and the warrior’s head under the trap. However, an identical second helmet was also found, along with a magic spear and coinage. The next thing to be checked was the source of the noises to the east. The room was inhabited by 4 wrestling white apes, which charged out; and the party, weak from previous fights, fled the temple to return to rest at Villa Cardone. The next day, they returned more prepared, raining spells and missiles on the monsters, slaying them all. The prize was a valuable crystal skull. Calling it a day (as the end of the session approached), they returned again to Villa Cardone, the first playtesters to have no casualties on their first foray to the Temple of the Unknown God! At this time, the city had 30 days left...
Dwellers of the Undercity
05/06/2025
KASSADIA
News from the fallen empire of Kassadia! The Lion Pack continued their forays into the Undercity beneath Viaskar. Crossing a cistern with ropes, they found a stairway to a plundered crypt, where four ogres were squabbling over their loot. They retreated to plan an attack, but a secret door opened, and out came the ogre leader in heavy armour, wielding a two-handed sword. The ogres were slain, but the damage was considerable. Their gold, a ring, and a small semi-precious stone figure were recovered. From the lower level of the ogre lair, a secret door opened to the bottom of an old staircase. Climbing it all the way up led to an enormous, dark hall, where the bones of ancient legionaries slumbered in burial niches. Recognising the place as the resting place of the Legion of Iron, the Empire’s last-resort undead defenders, they withdrew. To the east, a long stairway led up to a domed chamber inhabited by a dishevelled, sickly hermit, Gomberto. He was confused and lost, trying to remember what underground place he had escaped from, but told them of people living further on. Following this clue, they left him be, and investigated the natural caverns opening from a collapsed wall of the stairway. Old columns held up the cavern ceiling, and lights flickered in side-caverns. Investigating, they found dens of lepers, dwelling down here in the darkness. Suspecting they were somehow getting near the cult of Titus Malformatus, they withdrew, and checked out the upper caverns, filled with fungi growing around old columns. The way led to a room with a weird man-bat idol spewing water into a stone bowl, which Jovial Faustulus detected as poisonous. Following a charnel stench, they found the body of a lost explorer behind the statue. Aristeo Guarini checked the cadaver’s belongings, and was infested with several rot grubs, which were burned out with a torch – but some coins were at least recovered.
The Discovery of the Great Underground Cess Pit
Following the
stairs further down, they found an enormous dark space: an old circular arena
with rows of seats, and evidence of recent human presence – torch stubs,
crates, basic wooden furniture, and so on. A place for secret gladiatorial
games? For now, they pressed on. A stairway up was a dead end with abundant
moss and the bones of another dead explorer. Faustulus once again checked for
poison, and discovered the moss to be poisonous as suspected. Returning without
touching it, they went further, entering an old, ornate halls that stretched on
an on in the darkness, with mosaics on the side walls. Two stone griffins stood
before a double stone gate, and an inscription read: „VIDIBIVS MEMOR, CHAMPION
OF LYKOPHRON”. The text and the bas-relief of a bare-chested, wolf-headed man
indicated a presence of the werewolf-cult – for now, best avoided. Further on,
sets of stairs and less ornate undercellars were discovered. The way led up to
a cesspool, and while there were iron rungs leading up, this was not something
they wished to investigate for fear of catching some disease. From the
direction of a wooden door, they overheard men conversing, but with resources
and torches low, they chose to retreat through the passages. On the way back,
they saw approaching lanterns, and concealed themselves, letting a group of 15
rough-looking men pass by. The further way was uneventful: they emerged from
the Undercity on the plaza of the Hound-Birds, and went for the nearest
drinking and dining establishment, the Two Charioteers, a pleasant sports bar
and bordello near the great amphitheatre.
A Visit to the Fairy King
10/06/2025
THISIUM
News from the doomed city of Thisium! A large company entered the Fairy Garden to steal the Sacrificial Calf from the Fairy King. Following known routes, they headed for the plateau shrouded in eternal night. Walking through the dark forest, they were ambushed by giant killer bees, who immediately killed Serafina Malpractis and Pontiki, the party’s two magic-users, and the lynchpins for their rescue plan. Nevertheless, they pressed on, eventually finding their way to the centre of the forest. Song, music and laughter drifted from a marble hall surrounded with lush forests, and overgrown with ivy and splendid wildflowers. Gata spied on the hall in weasel form, finding it inhabited by the lords and ladies of the fairies. The Fairy King, a pudgy figure in dirty finery was engaged in idle chitchat with his courtiers, and watched over by his bodyguards, the stern fighting-man Primrose and the halfling hunter Barberry. An enormous pile of silver and gold lie nearby. But it was the third sight that was most important: a splendid white calf of outstanding beauty, pampered and groomed by the courtiers on a bed of flower petals! Now, Bambino the rider went forward openly, imitating drunkenness and carrying three bottles of wine, two tampered with deadly nightshade. The „lost traveller” was well received by the bemused fairies, and escorted to the King’s presence. With some fast talk, he fooled the assembled fairies to try his novel vintage while the party took up positions around the hall. The courtiers and the king drank, but all but one lady made their saving throws; thinking her drunk, she was carried to her bed. Alert to treachery, Primrose urged his king to be alert, and the King was just about to turn Bambino into some small forest animal when Gata jumped him from the rafters, seizing him by the throat and holding him fast. The party rushed the hall and took the assembled nobles hostage.
Tense negotiations ensued, but at last the talking Sacrificial Calf, Bouillon, offered to accompany the adventurers on his own free will. „I trust you”, he said with full conviction. The King was taken as a hostage, and his gold put in sacks and loaded on patient Bouillon. Returning through the forest to the site of the killer bee attack, Gata demanded that Pontiki be raised. The King promised to do so for his freedom, and Pontiki walked again, albeit silently. He tried to slip away, but was tackled, and „Pontiki” disappeared – only an illusion, the original still lying there dead! Gata tried to kill the king there and then, but was herself restrained from bloody murder. They retreated from a plateau to the outside garden. Four owlbears came towards them in an open field. The King was pushed forward, and he fell among the ravenous owlbears, who tore him to pieces while the company legged it, fleeing the Fairy Garden with Bouillon in tow. Exiting the enchanted realm, Ser Narvi decided to split and carry the news to the Yellow Dragon while the remaining group took the Calf to Thisium. Sir Drago also said his farewell, having fought along the company, but now heading for new adventures. They thus travelled back towards the city. An enormous green dragon swooped down from overhead. The party scattered into the woods while, alone, Giacomo heroically lured the beast ahead, riding just below it to avoid its breath weapon. At last, he jumped from his horse, which then took a cloud of chlorine gas, and was devoured. They waited out the dragon in concealment, and continued.
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| Orcs on the Coastlands |
Beyond the Forest of Verrilli, they rode through the nocturnal Coastlands, towards Thisium. Approaching the campsite of the merchant Trigulano Goi by the Bay of Pearls, they spotted a curious sight: a palisade with guards and watchfires. Giacomo investigated again, and spotted orc guards and the banners of the orc demi-god Porculus – the symbol of a great black swine suckling two human infants! The head of Trigulano Goi was also there, impaled on a wooden spike as a grim warning. The quick-witted thane pretended to be an ally of the orc cause, „reporting” that his team was engaged in talks with the green dragon to enlist him as an ally against Thisium. With this stratagem, he not only secured passage through the barrier, but learned something of the orcs’ war plans to cut off Thisium and prepare for the orc conquest of the Coastlands, starting with the manor house of Sir Egmont Mouseburg, a local knight and landowner. Riding on towards Thisium, another company of riders approached – none other than Sir Egmont himself with a patrol of 20 men! (The odds of this happening were 1:120 on the wilderness encounter table, clearly the intervention of fate!) Hearing of the orcish presence, they assaulted the orcs jointly, destroying their forces with a decisive ambush. Sir Egmont lost 10 men, and Giacomo was badly wounded, but the battle was won. Dead tired, they returned to Thisium, which now looked even shabbier and more dilapidated. They went for the Temple of the City on the city above Thisium, leading poor naïve Bouillon, still deluded he was about to return to graze and play. But it was not to be. Paphogenus the priest came forward, binding him to the altar with golden chains, and with his sacrificial knife, slit his throat and spilled his innocent blood so that the city might be saved. Thus was the Doom From the Forests averted. At this time, the city had 27 day left...
A Small Detour
18/06/2025
THISIUM
News from the doomed city of Thisium! Adventurers at the Yellow Dragon Alehouse rode out of the forest inn to return to Thisium. Avoiding confrontation with suspicious men who turned out to be werewolves, they made for a bridge they had thought to be guarded by orcs. On the way, they encountered two owlbears, one of which tore apart Kosmas the light footman. Arriving near the bridge, they approached carefully, and found that the orcs were out in force, with a military encampment. Instead of a confrontation, they decided to take a small detour through the forest to find a ford to the NW. This was not a good idea. The road led out of the Forest of Verrilli, into abandoned and increasingly swampy moorlands, but no ford was present. The trail reached the desolate seacoast, and ended at the uncaring waves. They made camp on a low mound, and the next day, sought a crossing through the swamp. A ford was found, but shortly afterwards, a black dragon the size of a horse discovered their presence. The battle, while terrible, unexpectantly turned in their favour with critical and head hits slaying the beast. However, Belinda Marchello the Thief received mortal wounds and died, while Tripa Seca the Thief was severely wounded in a way requiring medical attention. They continued east through trackless wilderness. Below a lone and forlorn mountain peak, they passed a mysterious statue, depicting the Philanthropus, Thisium’s mysterious and oft-reviled benefactor. Further on, they rediscovered the road, and a small camp where a bandit, Rodolfo Rampoldi, warned them of the orcs in the northern mountains, whom he was hunting for profit. They parted ways and rode in the night, bypassing a mysterious villa in the middle of a hedge maze, and eventually finding hospitality in a small village at the foot of a decrepit manor house. This was the land of Sir Egmont Mouseburg, out on an adventure. The next day, they mounted their horses, and rode into Thisium.
The adventure in Thisium started off inauspicious. A helpful guard at the gates helped them out with information, and was quickly incinerated by the gods for daring to help the city’s saviours. The other guards didn’t like this at all, so they left quickly. In the streets, they met Gordisio Pamfile, one of the city’s influential noblemen, who was happy for a conversation. Things had gotten worse in the last few days as black dogs started attacking the townspeople, while mysterious disappearances, including that of the Magic-User Adrius Doriano, plagued the city. After arranging healing for Tripa Seca, they descended through the graveyard into the Thisian Underworld, seeking an underground well beyond the tower of Yldegonda Gremullo. They had been there before, but this time, the plan was to find a hypothetical city exit above the shaft, to secure it for further expeditions depicted on their treasure map. The empty cistern above the well was inhabited by a swarm of stirges, however, and plans were devised to trap them. Finally, a net was prepared with glue, drawn taut across the passage, and the stirges drawn into it. Half of their numbers thus got stuck, while they made short work of the rest. Climbing up the well with ropes, they crossed the mossy overflow cistern, and found another well, leading outside into the sunlight. Climbing out, they found themselves in a small garden wedged among the houses of Thisium. The body of a young man lay dead on a bench, evidently dead of starvation – the poet Chiaffredo, who had walled himself in to find death by hunger to mourn the death of his love. In his hand, he still grasped a last scribbled note reading „LUCIA...” The company liberated his valuables, and, through a balcony in his small but tidy house, they descended back into the alleyways, and returned to the Pickled Carp. At this time, the city had 25 days left...
What Ho, Frog Demons!
(Covering three interconnected sessions of mop-up through a three-dimensional palace.)
News from ULTRAREALITY! Having slain the great ape demon, the third of the New Gods ruling the Doorless Arct, the company set about securing their newly conquered palace. Guards arrived from the Viridian Star to guard the exits and watch the rooftops – they also brought news that the pirates’ ship was attacked and taken, with a good quantity of treasures seized. The methodical looting operation could commence. Breaking into Philetor Grentor’s library was rewarded with a set of spellbooks holding powerful spells; a secret compartment with a light-gem, a compass, and 4 gas arrows, and occult books of general interest. A ground floor chamber – once the lair of the sorcerer Opangi Ord – was emptied of treasure, but held a map to a nearby island, marked with signs indicating the presence of Outworlders – the „demons of Thuzar-Yi” they had heard about? A mystery for another time. They turned their attention to the multi-level gallery above the enormous pile of treasure on the bottom. Attacking the weird ectoplasmic entities populating it drew them out, and the giant amoeboid blobs were defeated, although not easily. This allowed them to go about the central floor more easily, bypassing the obelisk creature guarding it from the north. A few rooms held a room of mists with phantasmal warriors, and a hallways of expensive floor tiles and ominous black sphinxes, judiciously avoided. In a gallery guarded by a phase spider, they found ominous relics from Fomalhaut’s first post-technological eras, including an ugly golden idol in an obviously trapped display case. But the real prize was found on a random detect magic sweep: a flying, invisible crystal ball in the gallery, netted and retrieved for later use.
Next came the topmost floor. There was another small library here, holding a tome sewn in human skin, with a screaming human face on it. This was, in fact, a mimic which almost caught and ate Bocephus, but was then chopped up. A room held a broken brass sphere with planetary rings hovering around it – as it later turned out, an orrery depicting the Planet Algol system, known for its demons. A secret door was discovered, and without an opening mechanism, knockspell used to throw it open – also opening a second one on the other side of the secret chamber. Here stood a weird metal pillar of intricate patterns, many inert glass eyes, and a console – something ancient, and now a mystery. The room beyond was an armoury of many swords, deathly cold. This was left for later as well. They now investigated the NW basement. One chamber held obvious treasures around an idol of the great frog-god Tsathoggus, gazing at them from a stone throne. Trying to nab the loot was not a great idea, as the god smiled slightly, and a grotesque, three-eyed frog demon appeared to protect the prizes, soon gating in a second companion. In this battle, luck left the company, and multiple PCs were almost killed – but finally, with great difficulty, they prevailed. The next day, their sponsor’s daughter, Hela al-Tyraxus sailed upriver to join them for a survey of the palace. The weird machine on the top floor was identified: an Abacus Pillar, a thinking device of the ancients. They inputted a set of instructions to advise whether the Arct could be returned to Fomalhaut with the aid of the rooftop Anomaly Device. After much deliberation, a roll of paper emerged, reading: „ERROR MARGIN MULTIPLIED 6XX /// PARM OVERLOAD POSSIBLE”. The plan no longer looked all that attractive. In the neighbouring room, they fought six animated weapons, and found a magical mace. Another room held a glyph-covered obelisk with powerful planar spells and arcane secrets, copied by rubbing parchments on it.
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| The Mysterious Brass Tablet |
There was only one thing left to do: the enormous treasure pile on the bottom of the interconnected galleries, surrounded by weird, abstract statues and torn apart human remains. They descended vary carefully to the lower gallery, and swept the place with detection spells. No invisibles were found, but multiple items were pinned down as magical, and two traps found: one in a weird dimensional anomaly on the hall’s northern side, and the other on a display pedestal holding an ancient brass tablet under a crystal hemisphere. Expecting something horrible, they descended carefully, and started looting the pile. The vast quantity of coinage (in AD&D terms, 150,000 gp) was such that even a third of it filled their portable hole to capacity. Trips had to be made to the ship to place the hoard in the hold, until finally, only the pedestal remained. There were no discernible physical traps, but it was obviously magically defended. Finally, a knockspell was used to unlock it, and monster summoning III to summon 2 ruffians and make them lift the hemisphere. Somehow, this worked: the trap didn’t activate. Underneath lie the Doorless Arct’s ultimate treasure: a tablet with a set of connected circles and old writing, displaying the secrets of the Techno-Hellenic age’s transportation gateway network. What they have come to ULTRAREALITY for was now theirs - but further adventures still beckoned!
Also announcing the special Floor Tile Merchant Awards! This adventure featured three instances of valuable construction materials to select the truly skilled ACKS players: silver roof cladding on a pavilion, precious stone floor tiles in a ransacked suite, and very pricy floor tiles in the sphinx hallway. Regrettably, the score for the awards was a round 0/3, as none of these were found. “I take this as a compliment”, noted Bocephus.
Deeper into the Temple of the Unknown God
News from the doomed city of Thisium! A large company left Villa Cardone towards the ominous Temple of the Unknown God, emboldened by the previous, successful expedition. They approached the imposing, ancient structure carefully. Before the enormous entryway, Dorvo had himself lowered into one of the two cyclopean pits, filled with the bones and debris of the ages. Looking for treasure, he found what he sought, but also got attacked by a buried wight: however, his flaming sword made short work of the undead monster. They entered the interior, going East to a room shrouded in deep gloom, the source of incessant quarrelling. Two shadowy philosophers were debating whether Wisdom or Will was the supreme principle. Entering, Adonis Gratianus offered Love as the true principle as a compromise, but could not convince the irate wraiths. Finally, he chose Will, and the triumphant philosopher advised him to enter the southern door, and use the magic scroll there to gain new powers. Adonis did so, and was immediately turned into a wraith (new powers included), who proceeded to attack his companions. In this combat, Sigismondo Fiesi, distant kin to an extinct Thisian lineage, was drained and turned into yet another wraith; but they were both dispatched with the flaming sword and Aufidia Corvina’s cure light wounds spell. They drank to Adonis’ memory, and continued the expedition. The chamber to the north held an upright, locked metal cabinet surrounded by four pillars. Sensing trouble, they tied a coil of rope around the thing, and knocked it – from inside came growls and the sound of shifting coinage. An ambush was set, and the doors opened. Out came a royal mummy, throwing down it ornate mace, and spilling the pile of gold it was trodding on into the room. It was put down by Eriberto Barrella, who snatched up the mace, finding it a +2 weapon. To the west was a short corridor, where a secret door was discovered.
Beyond stretched a dusty and long-forgotten passage, leading to a massive chamber. Great columns rose to infinity and the starry gulfs of space. The centre was occupied by a dark pool, and Matrona Ladrona chucked in a silver coin to see if it hid any danger. That came all right, in the form of a massive 8-headed hydra. They fled quickly, slamming the secret door, which the beast could not break down. They chose to explore eastwards. A passage led to an intersection with a dark smear on the floor and old, rusty scrap here and there. Investigating carefully, they spotted 4 raised portcullises around the centre – a trap by the looks of it. Now checking the nearby room, they found it decorated with vivid frescoes of old kings and sages. Dorvo, sensing trickery, struck one of the figures with his fire sword, which shrieked and shifted – a doppelganger, flattening itself into a 2D plane. The four monsters were handily dispatched, but the empty room had no treasure. North, beyond the intersection, a recess to the West held three old brass levers. A slingstone was shot at them to make sure there was nothing tricky here, but there was: the „levers” animated as 3 metal snakes, slithering towards the party with incredible quickness. In this battle, Placidus, Adonis’ elderly servant, died to the serpents’ deadly poison, following his young master to the Netherworld. Other followers failed their morale checks and fled in panic. Weakened and wary of worse to come, they checked out one more room to the north, finding 4 alabaster gargoyles, and turning back instantly. They returned to their horses, and rode back to Villa Cardone to bring the bad news to Ottilia Cardone of the death of the man who had loved her and helped win back her inheritance. Two followers, Ancilla Ladruncola (who spoke the tongues of animals) and Daphnis (4th level Elf, travelling incognito) chose to retire from the party, adding to the dark mood. At this time, the city had 30 days left...
(Very appropriately, the full monster experience for the session came out at a round 666 XP. Perhaps the Unknown God’s hand was involved, or perhaps it was blind cosmic chance. Who knows what is true!)
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